*after the Internet went down at work while our boss was at lunch, he came back to find us gathered around the white board*
Boss: What are you guys doing?
Me: Playing hangman.
Boss: Shouldn’t you be doing something productive?
Taylor: This is productive.
Boss: This isn’t productive, this is a game.
Chelsy: Hey, we are learning some valuable language skills here.
I just get so existential around babies. — Taylor
“He doesn’t fit the great white, homoerotic idea of what a quarterback should look like.” — Tim
Ashley: Either way, we should have a PSL incentive day.
Sasha: Not everyone likes pumpkin flavored drinks.
Chelsy: Shhh, yes they do!
Tim: Not me, I don’t even like pumpkin beer.
Chelsy: YOU DON’T LIKE STRAWBERRIES
Tim: That’s fair.
“All the babes love Ron Weasley.” — Tim
Tyler: Hey Daniel, have you ever considered growing a beard?
Daniel: I had one once, during a winter season. I didn’t like it. It got too itchy. I couldn’t lick plates.
“I definitely have cinnamon toast crunch in my beard comb.” — Sam
“It starts with cannabis oil and ends with a gay robot president.” — Sam
“It’s called an ice cream social, not an ice cream ‘get back to work’!” — Rob
“So many people poop their pants at concerts. They think it’s a secret to the world, but I know.” — Tim
“If I travel back in time to kill Hitler, I’m killing adult Hitler — none of that baby Hitler shit!” — Tim
“You could spell snow like faux with the ‘aux’. Oh wait, I think ski hipsters already do that. Damn, I hate when things already exist.” — Tim
“There’s nothing sweeter than a stolen donut.” — Bret
Kyle: Get out of our space!
Kim: SAY IT TO MY FACE, NAPOLEON!
Kcody: My name is a mess. If you pronounced it phonetically, it would sound like kuh-coh-dee mih-kay-eel dahn-seh-ree-oo.
Mary: So basically, it would sound like a stroke.